By Carol Ann Worthing, PhD
‘Did You Know’ building a lasting ‘marriage of honor’ takes more than modeling from others and book knowledge? A ‘marriage of honor’ does not happen by chance. It takes a heartfelt desire to build a foundation for marriage that addresses a broad spectrum of the dynamic facets of relating in a marriage. The following twenty-five tips will facilitate the growth of your passion, intimacy and commitment to a ‘marriage of honor.’
- Give a healthy balance of time, attention, affection, affirmation and security to each other.
- Find time to be joyful, laugh and enjoy special interests together.
- Send gestures of love, affection, romance and intimacy that are significant to your partner.
- Make your partner a priority in your life.
- Maintain a healthy balance of oneness and separateness.
- Allow meal time to be a time of fellowship with each other.
- Be loyal, truthful, open, honest, transparent and accountable to one another.
- Be a peacemaker and a catalyst for reconciliation with each other.
- Be a supportive cheerleader as well as a coach to each other; inspire and encourage each other.
- Allow your partner to gently correct you; never embarrass or correct your partner in front of others.
- Don’t put each other on hold. Relate to each other as equals.
- Exhibit patience and respect in attitude, actions, communications and decision making.
- Express your appreciation of each other; be courteous and considerate of each other. Say thank you even in the small things of everyday life.
- Think before you speak and choose your words wisely.
- Communicate with truth from your heart and without control. Listen with your heart. Compromise and collaborate as you recognize the benefit of your individual positions. Respond graciously to each other about your differences.
- Know each other well…your visions and dreams, your deepest thoughts, your pain and your joy, your scars and disappointments, your fears and your cares.
- Cultivate a grateful attitude that comes from a gentle and quiet spirit; one that speaks of strength of character, self-control and dignity.
- Create a fair division of labor so neither of you are overwhelmed or excessively burdened.
- Be willing to learn from one another and to grow together.
- Develop healthy and balanced character traits within yourselves. Don’t let pride, stubbornness, self-will or selfishness take hold of you; surrender it immediately.
- Have a vision for your marriage, set goals and standards, make a follow through plan and re-evaluate that plan as an on-going process. Set reasonable expectations of each other.
- Allow your spouse to be your friend and confidant. Experience deep-down togetherness.
- Share your heartfelt spirituality, values and beliefs with one another in every aspect of your lives.
- Use your sufferings and adversity to bond with each other.
- Develop effective conflict management. Forgive, learn how to apologize and change behaviors when needed. Don’t just say I’m sorry. Ask and say, “Will you forgive me”…there’s a difference; it shows humility.
And Remember – “Every enduring marriage involves an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person.”
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If you or a family member wants an evaluation to determine the dependence on a substance and desire recovery from that substance abuse, please call me, Carol Ann Worthing, PhD, at 303-663-5846 or visit my Contact Page. I have professional experience with successful outcomes since 1992.
Carol Ann Worthing, PhD of Individual & Family Wholeness is a psychotherapist in private practice since 1992. She has her PhD in Psychology from Northcentral University in Arizona. She provides a safe and caring approach to your counseling and psychotherapy and evaluations for individuals, couples, families, and children. Her practice represents integrity, competency, and confidentiality, a safe and caring place for psychotherapy. It is her mission to guide you and your family to become emotionally and physically whole and to help you deliberately build your lives and families on that wholeness.